


For the record

by Trash



Category: Take That (Band)
Genre: Gen, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-09
Updated: 2017-05-09
Packaged: 2018-10-29 23:43:57
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 295
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10864590
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Trash/pseuds/Trash
Summary: During a break whilst filming For The Record, Mark confronts Howard about his suicidal thoughts.





	For the record

**Author's Note:**

> For Ella.

"You didn't tell me you wanted to kill yourself."

They're standing outside smoking, Howard actively and Mark passively. Gary and Jason are who knows where. Mark can't bring himself to care. 

Howard shrugs, takes a drag. "Didn't seem important, mate. We all had shit to deal with."

"Yeah, but."

"It doesn't matter. Really. I got over it, obviously. I'm still here." He doesn't look at Mark, stares out across the grounds of the house instead. "I called the helpline."

"The...fan helpline?" Mark asks, incredulous. 

And Howard laughs, because of course he would think that was funny. "Yeah. They were actually really helpful."

They stand there for a while, silent. A bird lands in a tree nearby and starts to sing. Mark says, "Would you have done it, though?"

"Jesus Christ, you're like a dog with a bloody bone."

"Mate."

"Yeah," Howard says, shifting his weight. "Yeah, at the time I would've done it. Not now though."

"Hmm."

"I kept thinking, nobody would even miss me. They would mourn the band, but not me as a person. Even less so if I was actually dead."

Mark stares. "You think I'd not have mourned you? Arsehole."

Howard nudges him and smirks, flicking away his cigarette. "We need to go back in," he says. "Talk more about our feelings for each other."

"You love it," says Mark as he heads inside. 

"Sporting a semi as we speak."

Mark stops them, just inside the doorway. "I don't know what I'd have done, if you'd...you know."

Howard blinks, nods. "Sorry. Shoulda told you about it earlier. Or at all. That was bad craic."

Mark looks like he wants to say something else but he nods, instead, and pushes open the door to face the cameras with a smile.


End file.
